Learning to Wait

Reflections I had before a birth

I revisited this piece I wrote nearly six years ago after weeks of prodromal labor with my sixth child. It’s a gem and worth reading even when I’m not waiting on labor to start.

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My due date has come and gone. We are at the point where all we can think about is trying not to think about Baby’s arrival. I’ve been experiencing prodromal labor which means our emotions have been adjusting from excitement to skepticism; we are trying to take it all in stride and with a sense of humor but there will be such relief when our baby is finally here. This time of waiting has taught me a few things in the 3 weeks that I’ve been within the delivery window.

1. Like birth, there is no formula for life. It’s nice to know exactly what’s going to happen next and when it’s going to occur. But birth, and life in general, doesn’t work that way. There’s a process, for sure, but only God knows the details, the purpose and the timing of that process. Peace comes in letting go of having to do it my way and accepting that I don’t have to know the why behind everything. I can simply accept that this is how things are for the present and it’s good (albeit not very comfortable).

2. Perspective matters. We live in a microwave age. Everything is instant- from food to information to shopping. It’s gotta happen right now and if it doesn’t, something is wrong. There is nothing like waiting on a baby to shake up that trend. Sure, there are ways to kickstart labor or speed things up but doing so takes away some of the beauty of not being in control. It feels like Baby will never come, but I know that’s not true; likewise, there are days when the temporal seems more real than the eternal. I must remember that even though my emotions are very real, they are not always reality.

3. Embrace life as it comes. Life is usually predictable. I usually accomplish my agenda for the day. Routine is usually established and kept. But sometimes there’s a bend in the road, the unexpected happens and life as we know it has suddenly been altered. At first I recoil from the change; I reach for remnants of the familiar in order to piece it back together. But this week my eyes were opened to see that this is the divine mystery of life; our revolution around the sun propels our growth. To resist leads only to despair. The caterpillar may not wish to enter the cocoon but to resist would mean a destiny without wings.

As I wait for what I know will come, I am reminding myself of these lessons and others that God has been showing me and am eager to learn more.